Friends or Family: Who Makes Us Happier?

Key relationships are an important source of our happiness and well-being and are also a fundamental human need. However, when it comes to choosing who can help provide you with more happiness, researchers from Southern Methodist University and Michigan State University compared the difference between friends and family.

The team recently published their paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Their findings suggest that we may be happier spending time with friends more than the happiness found with family.

Maintaining close relationships is not always easy due to the time and effort it requires. The authors noted that these relationships might be "psychologically taxing" in ways such as pressure to provide support and care.


Family Versus Friends

The team analyzed how people function depending on how much time is spent with romantic partners compared to time with friends or colleagues. Participants in the study reported that people had the highest levels of well-being when the time was spent with friends. Time with romantic partners followed, and lastly, with their children.

The authors explained that it's not about preferring the company of friends over their families, but the activities shared with these people. Typically, enjoyable activities are done with friends, while time with family members includes tasks such as chores and taking care of kids.

Professor Nathan Hudson from Southern Methodist University shared that their study is not comparing the fundamental nature of relationships between friends versus family. With activities statistically controlled during the study, "the 'mere presence' of children, romantic partners, and friends predicted similar levels of happiness. Thus, this paper provides an optimistic view of the family and suggests that people genuinely enjoy their romantic partners and children."

READ: Defining Happiness in Positive Psychology

Friends or Family: Who Makes Us Happier?
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Significance of Activities

The study involved 400 participants who described the time spent with family or friends. They identified activities done with both types of relationships and rated how the experiences made them feel. The emotional rating varied between happy and satisfied, and if the activities had significant meanings. Alongside Richard Lucas and M. Brent Donnellan from Michigan State University, the team estimated rates of happiness according to the provided data.

Activities with romantic partners typically included eating, relaxing, and socializing. The same activities were done with friends as well but had more enjoyable tasks and less housework. Sixty-five percent of the time with friends was spent socializing while 28 percent with romantic partners.

Time with children involved even less enjoyable activities like socializing and was spent on things like commuting and chores. The most positive activity associated with children was childcare, according to the researchers.

If activities were factored out in general, the level of happiness with friends and family was relatively the same level. In conclusion, Hudson pointed out the importance of creating "opportunities for positive experiences with romantic partners and children—and to really mentally savor those positive times. In contrast, family relationships that involve nothing but chores, housework, and childcare likely won't predict a lot of happiness."

READ: How Happy Are Healthy People?

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