Facial Dysmorphia as a Form of Obsession: 22-Year-Old Woman Shares Why She Can’t Stand To Look at Her Own Face

In a society dominated by selfies and social media, a 22-year-old journalist and advertising female student from Arkansas can hardly stand to look at her face.

Living with Obsession

Kat Holitik knows what celebrities look like, being familiar with their faces and comprehending their appearance in photographs. But when it comes to her face, it is just blurry and appears almost like a glitch.

Holitik suffers from a mental health condition known as facial dysmorphia. It is a subset of body dysmorphic disorder that affects 1.7% to 2.9% of the population in the U.S. and is characterized by too much preoccupation with perceived flaws in one's appearance.

Holitik's excessive focus on her perceived flaws manifests as difficulty joining social activities and connecting with her friends. She needs to be constantly vigilant in case someone captures a photograph of her and posts it on social media. If ever an "unfavorable" image is shown, her mood gets crushed, so she prefers to forbid her friends from looking at her old photos that she does not like.

Taking pictures of herself ultimately sets her day off because she cannot figure out why she looks different from various angles. As a result, she still does not allow her friends to take specific photographs of herself and does not let them post her pictures because she always looks horrible.

According to Holitik, the preoccupation she experiences is constant and exhausting, being always there at any given time of the day. Whether consciously or subconsciously, some part of her is always focused on how she looks and how she s being perceived.

Holitik is aware of the factors that contributed to the development of her condition. According to her, it started in the 4^th or 5^th grade when she felt very bad due to the weight gain resulting from anxiety medication. After losing weight, her classmates, particularly the boys, treated her differently. Since then, she began to think that she had things to be insecure about, which encouraged her to have a lifelong obsession with her looks.

Since much of her life as a journalism student revolves around social media, Holitik needs extra assurance to post selfies. Usually, she needs to ask a friend if a picture looks alright, asking them a few more times to ensure their answer is sincere.

What is Facial Dysmorphia?

Facial dysmorphia is a mental health condition in which a person experiences a warped perception of their facial appearance. It differs from fleeting consciousness about one's looks which many people experience.

According to clinical psychologist Gilbert Chalepas, people suffering from facial dysmorphia have obsessive thinking about their looks, which may not be noticeable to others or only be minor concerns. Individuals with this mental health condition focus too much on their flaws to the point where their thoughts significantly affect their daily activities and quality of life.

Individuals with this condition experience intense shame, embarrassment, and social anxiety. This can lead them to avoid social situations, negatively affecting relationships and overall well-being.

The causes of facial dysmorphia can be genetic, environmental, or psychological. Some environmental factors that can trigger this condition are childhood experiences, social pressure, and the influence of social media. As John Hopkins Medicine's guide to BDD describes, bullying can foster feelings of shame, inadequacy, and fear of ridicule.

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