Woman Who Refused to Donate Kidney to Dying Sister Receives Support From Netizens; Why Psychological Test Is Important for Transplant Donors?

A woman who refused to help her dying sister who needed a kidney transplant received support from the netizens. The unnamed woman explained that their history of bullying made her decide not to help her sibling.

Woman Refused To Donate Kidney To Bully Sister

A 28-year-old woman took to Reddit and shared why she refused to help her dying sister. According to u/SmoothKitchen4410, doctors informed their family that her sister needed an urgent kidney transplant to survive.

The woman was never close to the patient because her sister allegedly made her life "a living hell." The sick sister was reportedly a bully who constantly belittled her, called her names, and left her with deep emotional scars.

However, their family was pressuring her to donate one of her kidneys to her sibling. They told her that she would be "heartless to refuse."

However, the woman admitted she couldn't shake off her resentment for her 30-year-old sister, who reportedly never apologized. She realized she couldn't sacrifice a part of herself for someone who never showed her kindness and compassion. She acknowledged that others might find her decision selfish, but she couldn't just bring herself to help her sister.

The Reddit user received support from other netizens on the platform. Many advised her to take the test to know if they were a match because it wouldn't be an issue if they were not a match in the first place. In case they were a match, she could inform the doctor that she was being harassed or coerced by their family, and the doctor would reportedly notify the family that they were not a match.

One nurse shared the same sentiment, noting that the story was common. She advised the Reddit user to meet with the doctor or nurse privately and inform them that she wanted her family to be told that she was tested and not a compatible match to donate because, per HIPAA guidelines, they could not disclose anything else to her family.

Meanwhile, another suggested that a psychological test is an important part of the screening, and based on how she feels, she is unlikely to pass it. A user said potential organ donors are not allowed to donate if pressured, coerced, or forced.

Psychological tests are important to assess the readiness of the donors. Rebecca Cogwell Anderson, Ph.D., who serves as director of Transplant Psychological Services at the Medical College of Wisconsin, said they had to ensure that both donors and recipients are stable psychiatrically, medically, and socially before the surgery.

What Did the Expert Say

A licensed marriage and family therapist, Rachel Goldberg, weighed in on the issue. According to her, the situation was difficult, and the woman's feelings were understandable, considering her history with her sick sister.

Goldberg added that the family's expectations for the woman to help her sick sister only made the situation harder. The expert felt that the family didn't acknowledge the issue between the two and didn't protect her growing up, which only made the Reddit user turn her back on all of them.

Goldberg believed the woman felt her needs were constantly overlooked, stirring her feelings of betrayal and resentment. She advised the woman to separate herself from her family's influence and to "ponder" on how she might feel if her sister passed away without her helping the latter.

"While donating could lead to a happy resolution and finally an acknowledgement of her being a hero despite what she went through, there's a risk of perpetuating the same dynamic of prioritizing the family's needs over her own," Goldberg said.

"Ultimately, she'll need to live with her decision, and it's a common phenomenon for people to regret decisions influenced by anger or resentment later in life, even if they felt justified."

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