A crisis usually reveals one's true friends, and indeed the unprecedented pandemic has tested many relationships. Several experts share the psychology of how relationships, typically built on time and trust and being challenged by the present circumstances.
Similar to primates, people develop and maintain relationships through certain behaviors designed by societies throughout history and evolution. Although we may live in areas with millions of other people, our close circle of friends and family typically fall in a range between 70 to 250 people.
According to psychologist Robin Dunbar from the University of Oxford, these close relationships stay relatively stable throughout time. Our closest relationships are then organized into a web of social networks that include our cognition, emotions, time constraints, and interaction capacities.
Typically, this network is composed of intimates such as family and close friends. Then, some friendships are not within proximity and we have our acquaintances.
A Close Network
A single person averagely has 154 people in their main circle, which is associated with how many people the brain can handle. The neocortex of the brain is responsible for our senses, motor skills, language, conscious thought, and spatial reasoning. Our social networks are associated with brain size and how mental functions assess other people.
Trust is normally built through time and how we invest our time in others reflects the quality of certain relationships. Spending time with our loved ones activate endorphins as our brain's interpersonal functions are activated.
One way that endorphins are stimulated is by human touch, such as a hug or a kiss. However, physical distancing and hygiene practices to avoid infection have hindered this kind of closeness for several months.
Instead, people are finding alternate ways to maintain relationships through digital means. Moreover, the pandemic has also brought communities closer. Professor Dunbar shared, 'In a lockdown, many people are forming new friendships with people on their street and in their community for the first time. So, when we emerge from lockdown, some of our more marginal friendships might be replaced by some of these new ones.'
Maintaining relationships and human bonding need to happen continually since endorphins are fleeting while trust and intimacy are built over time. Dunbar explains that 'the biggest single factor affecting health, wellbeing, happiness - even the ability to survive surgery or illness - is the number of high-quality friendships you have.'
Read Also: Modern Technologies that Affect Our Relationships
Virtual Connection
In-person interaction is necessary for people, and although virtual activities are a temporary solution to fill in gaps, Dunbar says that they are only slowing 'down the rate of decay on relationships, but they won't stop them (from) dying eventually.' Touch and presence are essential for our relationships.
Dr. Jenny Groarke from Queen's University shared that the 'lower satisfaction with the quality of digital social contact, we found, was associated with higher loneliness.' Several studies have revealed that depression and anxiety cases have increased and gotten worse during the pandemic.
Andrea Courtney from Stanford University said that our well-being can be boosted during this time by investing time in our closest relationships. It is also anticipated that levels of loneliness will decrease after the pandemic since 'many people are now clinging to their closest ties.' Despite the limitations of physical contact, the ways to virtually connect 'are just as abundant as ever,' she said.
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