Study Shows People Contemplating To Breakup Start To Use Pronouns More

New psychology research reveals that there could be evidence of an impending breakup in the words that couples use in their daily conversations.

Researchers from the University of Texas in Austin recently published a study that analyzed over 1 million posts of 6,800 Reddit users one year before and one year after they shared the news of ending their relationship with a significant other in the r/BreakUps subreddit.

They found that people contemplating the end of a relationship change their language use and start saying more "I" and "we" and did not return to normal language until about six months. Experts said the word "I" is correlated with depression and a sign of increased brain processing.

They published their findings in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The researchers hope that their study will give people more insights into how loved ones may respond over time to breakups.

Language Use Changes In an Impending Breakup

The study is the first to examine breakups and how long they could last using natural data, according to MailOnline. Researchers said that the use of pronouns may indicate an impending breakup and that these words in everyday conversations may exist months before the actual breakup.

"It seems that even before people are aware that a breakup is going to happen, it starts to affect their lives," said doctoral candidate in psychology at UT Austin and study lead author Sarah Seraj.

"We don't really notice how many times we are using prepositions, articles or pronouns, but these function words get altered in a way when you're going through a personal upheaval that can tell us a lot about our emotional and psychological state," she added.

Moreover, Seraj said that whether the person is doing the dumping or getting dumped, their findings suggest that there is a significant change in their language use up to three months before the end of a romantic relationship.

Their language started to shift into more personal and informal language, which indicates that there is a drop in analytic thinking. They tend to use more "I" and "we" pronouns, which shows increased cognitive processing.

Becoming More Self-Focused

Seraj said that the increased use of these pronouns signals that someone is carrying a heavy cognitive load. Phys.org reported these people tend to become more self-focused as they are thinking or working through something.

She added that sometimes the word "I" correlates with depression and sadness, another evidence that the person is focused more on themselves and are not able to relate to others as much as before.

These language markings peaked on the day of the breakup and could remain for up to six months, even as they start to talk about other things in Reddit communities.

Moreover, Forbes reported that some users tended to linger in the r/BreakUps subreddit for months, rehashing the breakup over and over again. Researchers said that the rumination of this event makes it harder for the person to move on and heal.
When the researchers compared their data to people who are going through a divorce, they also found a similar language pattern. The researchers said that the findings give insight into how loved ones may react to an impending breakup.

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